I just turned 38. I thought I would freak out. I wanted to freak out. The drama would be enough to demand a change, my mind rationalized. But I didn’t. Thirty-eight seemed more mid-life than young anymore suddenly. It became clearer to me, than ever before, that trying to get fit and staying that way had to become my way of life. Not a temporary, short term goal.
My 30’s was a great decade. I changed a lot of things about myself – some I had to and some I wanted to. And I like the person I am today. I hope my forties will help me refine that person further.
In the last 2 years I have been wont for inspiration. Nothing seems to challenge me. What does, I ignore. It’s been a new life for me. One I took longer to accept and assimilate into. In the last few weeks I have felt that proverbial pull. Something inside me pulling at leaving my insides, and becoming something on the outside. It’s still taking form and am determined to be that vessel to creativity. But, in the meanwhile, I also realized that I wanted to get better – in health, in wealth, in creative output, in just a state of being.
I want to move out of existing and find a way to get to living my life the way I want to envision. Trying something new. To jog my motivation. Get me moving – physically, metaphorically, in any way possible. To document. To make me accountable. To nobody but the big, bad Internet.
I have quite a few hurdles to overcome.
I am a diabetic with sugar that refuses to stay in range (Wait! That completely absolves me). Let me rephrase that. I am a diabetic with uncontrolled high sugar. I weight over 190 pounds. These are the physical manifestations of my unhappiness.
Then there is that somewhat toxic relationship with food . I say somewhat (in order to be completely honest) because while there are days when I still hoard food and eat secretly, there are days when I am good eater. There are still days when am not completely honest about what I consume, in the apps meant to record such information. But there are also days when I crave good food like a delicious protein smoothie or the lovely oat blueberry muffins posted here. Crunch is my friend. Fiber is my friend. Sugar is a long lost acquaintance who I am not ready to become friends with again. But, in the spirit of reducing toxicity, I do not want to call sugar my enemy.
Let the journey begin!
Blueberry Oats Low Sugar* Muffins
Makes 15 Ingredients:
1 cup whole wheat flour 1 cup rolled oats 1/2 cup maple syrup 3/4 raw sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp vanilla essence 1/4 tsp salt 2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp baking soda 1/2 cup sour cream 1.5 cups fresh blueberries
Mix all wet ingredients, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla and salt. Add the flours. Mix till combined. Gently fold in the blueberries. Bake in a preheated 350 F over for about 20-22 minutes.
Adapted from this recipe.
* Low sugar is based only on taste and not verified nutritionally.